"Went to school and I was very nervous, No one knew me, no one knew me...
Hello teacher tell me what's my lesson
Look right through me
Look right through me..."
--"Mad World" by Michael Andrews and Gary Jules
The song "Mad World" by Gary Jules is pure desolation. . .and desperation. Rather like the school landscape these days.
I see so much need in my music classrooms. Children who move away, only to return two weeks later. Children on medication for serious medical and emotional issues. Children who would be served by such medications, but whose parents refuse them.
Children who wear the same clothes day after day. Classroom teachers who smuggle them new pants, a free school shirt, new gym shoes.
My heart bleeds for these kids. Like their parents, I feel stretched woefully thin. I teach over one thousand students per week. For every one of them, I am their only school music teacher. They want to tell me their stories. I want to listen. But they're so many of them, and only one of me.
I feel so small, so insignificant in the onslaught. I do what I can, but I'm only human and, after my tenth class of the day, my resources are stretched thin too. Do I look through my students in my fatigue?
The politicians and talking heads are busy deciding how much I'm worth, if my benefits and pension are too generous, if I'm overeducated and under-intelligent, if I'm out to "indoctrinate" the children. They can talk. I'll attend, the best I can, to children's needs.
And I pray I never, ever, look through them. . .even if I teach over a thousand.
8 comments:
I worked for a year at St. Louis Public Schools. Of all the schools I visited, the one that remains stuck in my memory is Eliot Elementary School (now closed). Steel doors; first-floor windows boarded up; second-floor windows barred; a 15-foot fence topped by barbed wire surrounding the building. The annual student turnover rate was 90 percent -- the area was largely occupied by abandoned buildings where homeless families lived.
The class I visited was the music class. And it the midst of all that ugliness and waste and boarded up windows, I listened to the magic of a dedicated teacher leading a children's choir. The principal said it was the school's most popular class -- for the students and the parents.
So don't get discouraged, Gwen. You may never know the impact you're having - but God knows.
That means so much to me, Glynn. I'm fortunate to teach in a an area a little more stable than what you describe, but still, the needs seem to grow by the year.
But you are so right. Those children need music so badly, and even though they come with sad faces, they often leave bouncing and singing. Thanks for that important reminder.
Oh, Gwen, even if you make a difference to one lonely, broken child and instill a love of music in him or her that lift them from their dreary world, you have given them a golden key of opportunity for a rich life.
I am sorry we don't value the arts and our teachers like we should. May the Lord forgive us! And may He meet all your needs by His rich storehouses in Heaven.
Thanks for praying for my interview and the funny story you put on my blog!! I love it!
My daughter Caitlin, who is a musician, recounts in her concerts a recent experience. She has always known that music moves her, but this summer, her eyes were opened to the awesome and universal power it has. She took part in the local Buddy Walk--a walk that benefits people with Downs' Syndrome. In the midst of that day, in the realities of the condition, the local school for children with the disease brought their drumline to the walk. Children who could barely speak. People who barely function by "normal" standards. But their drumline? When the music began, the disabilities disappeared and they made real music. It wasn't perfect, but it was powerful. This touched her so deeply. Her music often brings the audience to tears and at 16, she doesn't always understand why. But that day, she felt the pull on her own soul--how God uses music to speak to hearts. It was a good lesson for her to realize that the response isn't always to the performer alone. Sometimes, it's a visceral response to God himself.
I don't know you personally, Gwen, but I can see your heart in your posts. Be certain that God is using you to touch those little people in ways you can't even imagine. No, they may not be singing "Jesus Loves Me." But you are. Your spirit is. Every child who comes through your doors is a child put there for blessing from God through you. This is not to pressure you--it is to encourage you. Let Jesus shine through you and trust Him to direct that beam to the hearts that need it most each day. I KNOW you are making a difference.
Blessings!
Rachel, the thought and generosity you put into this comment has greatly encouraged me and will for a very long time. Thank you for encouraging this public school teacher that I can still do God's work, even if I can't overtly preach His Word.
You have really blessed me today. Thank you, on behalf of my students as well...for my load feels a little lighter, thanks to your encouragement.
May God bless you richly, Rachel.
Your contribution isn't defined by the size of your cup, but by the flow of the fountain from which it overflows. I know God overflows from you ... and he never runs out. Grace and peace to you!
You do remember, of course, that only God can meet every need? You know that no matter how much you would do, you'd never exhaust the need?
Please trust that the Lord is using you. Music teachers are the BEST! I try to tell the music school instructors how much their efforts mean to us. I know you do make a difference.
Anne,
Thank you for that reminder, and I do pray for my students, both in moment of dire need: "Please, Father help so and so with such and such" and with more intention. But in the hustle and bustle of my day, it's all too easy to forget that I'm not ultimately in charge of filling all my students' needs, but God is. Certainly He that know every sparrow knows their needs!
It's an overwhelming year, but becoming more doable by the day, thanks to prayer...and patience. The latter is NOT my forte, but I'm learning, dearest Anne, I'm learning to be patient with myself. :-)
May God bless you richly.
Post a Comment